These Last Few Days

Perhaps we are on the brink of our regularly scheduled programming in Pinkyland.

After two very hard weeks at work (and I know, I shouldn’t complain, other people have it harder and longer that’s what she said than just two weeks of stress, but I have experienced all that before to the point where Hubs said “It’s that really large coffee company or me, you choose” and guess which one I went for?) and with yesterday looking to be the beginning of a third week, I really had no idea that I would be feeling as “normal” as I do right now. While today wasn’t easy, and I still have my challenges in front of me, I was able to leave the office at 4.15pm to be home at a decent hour. Bliss.

My plan is to leave at 4.15 again tomorrow. My working hours are generally until 5pm but seeing how I put in oh about 15 hours extra last week I have myself now to take care of and I already talked to my boss about it who is in total agreement with me… tomorrow and Thursday if all goes well I will be out the door before 5 and on a train home. Friday I have the day off. It’s all arranged.

My boss is also in agreement with my proposal, but only has to speak to our boss about the arrangement of me working from home one day a week. *Sigh* That’s me taking a big sigh of relief. Maybe I am going to get more sleep and have time for gym and running on a regular basis in my life?

Am currently journaling my food and a few thoughts from the last few days. Because I’m not really weighing and measuring everything, and I’m not logging my food into the WW online program at the moment, I would like to be really aware of what I’m putting in my body. I’m not going to bore you all with food entries (yet), but I will tell you what I wrote down yesterday:

Had an absolutely crappy day BUT was not willing to eat my way through the stress. I know the situation at work is temporary but being in the moment of it absolutely sucks. I am currently not able to push my way through it to try and be positive. too much bullshit going on and my feeling of responsibility prevents me from throwing my hands up as if to say “screw this”. The lack of having time for myself and my health is seriously making me feel depressed.

When I arrived home last night, Hubs picked me up and gave me a silly but sentimental thing. The fact that he thought of me and picked up Woody (the stuffed version) from Toy Story “to cheer you up” caused me to burst into tears. It was probably the sweetest thing he could have done and yet I was reduced to a pile of snot, water works and black streaks of mascara running down my face. Stress. It ain’t pretty. I needed that cry though, as I mentioned on twitter and as many people mentioned back to me, crying isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Got my run on tonight, but it wasn’t super easy. I’m tired. I could feel that I was tired because I didn’t run tonight like I did on Sunday when I was rested. I had to walk quite a few times during the hour. I really believe that having the day off Friday is going to help me for the run in the evening. It makes such a huge difference on a good nights sleep.

Fingers crossed this is the trend upwards again. I can’t take much more of the negative stressful stuff.


Made a new playlist that spans the decades, initially inspired by Fran’s Running Playlist Page; how’s this for more eclectic mixing?

Comments

  1. Fran says:

    Love the playlist, I see we like some of the same music :)

    I hope the stress at work will be less soon. Glad that you are able to finish work early this week and be home at a decent hour.

    It doesn’t matter that your run wasn’t as good as normal. You went and that’s what’s important. Next run will be better.

    Have fun Friday night, I look forward to hearing how it was.

    1. Renée says:

      thanks Fran. Unfortunately I had yet another craptastic day today. I’m really struggling to keep up my positivity lately :(
      maybe after the run Friday and a rest this weekend I’ll have a better outlook again.

  2. I vote NO on the work stress.
    I vote YES on the upward trend!

    I hope your week gets better, and ENJOY your day off Friday!

    1. Renée says:

      oh I am definitely going to enjoy my day off. I need it now more than ever!

  3. Emilie says:

    Oh dear :) I totally understand what it’s like to have a stressful job and sometimes it can seem all-consuming. Fortunately for me my job has it’s peaks and troughs and the troughs help to make up for the peaks. It’s great that you are still managing to stay on track despite the stress. Keep it up and go get yourself a well-earned massage!

    :)

    1. Renée says:

      hey, a massage sounds like a great idea actually!

  4. Working from home one day a week sounds like such a good idea! Also, what a sweet gesture from your husband. I agree, crying isn’t always bad. It can be quite good for releasing pressure / bad feelings.

  5. Rhonda says:

    Oy, I am so far behind on my reading… sorry I haven’t been here in ages. I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time and it sounds incredibly frustrating so I don’t blame you for being upset/frustrated and even angry. Getting angry is good. Giving up is bad (but you already know that and you aren’t a quitter).
    Thanks for the playlist :)
    I love stealing song ideas from other people :)

    1. Renée says:

      don’t worry Rhonda! every time I see your updates I think “today is the day I’m going to comment!” and then I don’t get to it. There will be no giving up, I can assure you of that.
      You are welcome – I stole most of mine from Fran!!

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