Friday Five + Runfessions

I have a little time, so I thought I’d do a Friday Five today and a Runfessions (two for the price of one, hey!); Friday Five is a free topic this week, which is great for my brain and it’s ever-swirling-around-my-head thoughts:

What’s Friday Five?

Join Running on Happy and Fairytales and Fitness every Friday for the Friday Five 2.0 linkup! There are suggested themes, so be sure check the theme via one of these blogs, write your post and link back!

For Runfessions, I’m linking up with Marcia, from Marcia’s Healthy Slice!

Right. So. Without further ado.

Runfession Number 1: This week it was announced who was chosen to be on the elusive ASICS Frontrunner team. I runfess I did apply, but I pretty much knew that I had no chance of making the team. And I didn’t. I was disappointed and I’ll admit it, envious. The ones that I knew (here in NL) that made the team were obvious anyway. I kind of feel let down by big brands in general, to be honest. Also, I’m not a popular blogger and here in the Netherlands obviously I don’t blog in Dutch. I could, but I don’t want to, that’s my choice (I would blog even less as it takes me twice as long to put my sentences together!) And, let’s face it, I’m not the “ideal” runner as far as marketing a brand goes. I’m slightly tubby. The only brand that I’ve felt really doesn’t care if you are not perfect is Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon Series. They want “real” runners. Haha, I hate when people say things like that (“real” runners). Of course, runners who are fast, have no body fat and have won records are also real. But you know what I mean. Anyway, don’t worry, I’ll get over myself. I’m just admitting that I am/was envious. Do you ever feel jealous about other people’s accomplishments?

Runfession Number 2: I am seriously considering liposuction. Before you start screaming, let me explain. I have been at this weight loss/ fitness game for a long time now and some parts of my body just don’t change composition. This week I saw part of a program talking about how food changed for the worse back in the 50’s and it’s had huge effects on our bodies. It makes me wonder if some damage is just already done and cannot be fixed without surgery. I don’t want it to look “good” or even “better”, I want my body composition to change! I want my fat percentage to go down and I want to run faster. I want it for running! Does that sound odd? I certainly can’t afford it right now, but I think I’m going to start saving for it. Even knowing that I won’t be about to do sports for at least 2 weeks, there will be compression clothing involved and I could be as long as 6 weeks out of the running. Do you know anyone who has had liposuction?


[ctt template=”11″ link=”h8Vb0″ via=”yes” ]Jealousy, liposuction, dream races and more… Friday Five + Runfessions Link-up![/ctt]

Runfession Number 3: I have a real love/hate relationship with my scale. You may already know this about me. I wanted to wait until the end of the month to weigh in, but I got on the scale this morning. I’m not going to tell you what it said because it’s not official. But I’m kind of disappointed. This is why I really wish that stupid number weren’t so important. Yes, “You are More than a Number on the Scale”. I know. But it takes hard work, patience and oftentimes every bit of energy to stay on track for a result that is not unrealistic. I say that because MAYBE losing “x amount” of kilos per month is unrealistic. Do you love or hate your scale? Are you ruled by it? Do you get disappointed by the number?

Runfession Number 4: I started looking at marathons for next year… yep getting WAY ahead of myself. The one I really want (I’ll not spill the beans yet) I don’t think I can afford because it’s in February. That’s enough hint. Here’s another; it’s not in North America or Europe. Do you ever find yourself considering dream races even though you are not ready for them?

Runfession Number 5: I am really afraid to fail. Like everything. I feel like a deer in the headlights at the moment with school and with running. I don’t feel like I challenge myself enough. Negative Nelly lives in my head rent-free and I’ve no idea how to kick her out. I listened to my friend Martinus’ podcast at 300 Pounds and Running (finally) this morning and he said something that really resonated with me: “Don’t be afraid to fail and if you are, do it afraid anyway.” I am doing this over and over again and yet I’m still wracked with fear. Do you feel fear and do it anyway?

These are my runfessions – what is one runfession you want to make this week?

27 thoughts on “Friday Five + Runfessions

  1. Oh Renee I get it, I get it all. I totes understand how it feels to drag weight around running. It sucks the life out of you. As if running weren’t hard enough. I totally get the disappointment over Asics too. Know that most of the PR people making those decisions are clueless. CLUELESS. I know it doesn’t change anything but still.
    YAY for that dream race. You didn’t even have to give the continent clue. I know what you’re eyeing. I’m still terrified of tri and crashing my bike and having my face/teeth rearranged (again) and sucking at swimming like I always do, and then I keep plugging away. Thanks for linking up!xoxo

    1. so true! as if running weren’t hard enough! like I said to Darlene though, I’m glad you understand!

      by the way, did I tell you that I signed up for the 5K weekend of the Chicago Marathon? Are you going to be there? Chicago of course is another dream marathon but not in the cards for me for a couple of years I think…

        1. oh :( well I’ll keep you posted anyway. we’ll come like the Wednesday before and leave the Tuesday/Wednesday after. It’s too far to go to not stay at least a week. thank goodness I still have great friends there who can provide us a bed while we are there!

  2. Yes to many of these.

    I don’t have a scale so that solves that problem.

    I hate as we age, the skin just hangs…and it’s just going to get worse.

    Of course, i am jealous of all the opportunities (sponsorships) that the big bloggers get.

    And I do consider races that I can’t possibly afford…dream on…

    I will not run a marathon because…. you can guess.

    I took me years to attempt a half. I was sure that I was too old, too slow….

  3. Yes I have signed up for dream races and haven’t been able to go. One because of sickness and the other just didn’t have the time to train. Two of my aunts had liposuction and said it was very painful. Hope you’ve had a good week!

    1. oh no that’s awful :( I’ve only not been able to do one race and that’s because I had an operation on my foot! it’s sad you weren’t able to do those races! I bet liposuction is painful, that’s probably one reason I haven’t done it so far! YEARS ago I thought about having my boobs lifted – I even went to the consultation! In the end I just thought “nah, nevermind”!

  4. I often have major FOMO of doing destination races too! But, it does cost so much money – I don’t think it’s bad to start thinking about it so far in advance either! And, about the liposuction – you go girl. If it’s going to make you feel better – you do what YOU want. I do get jealous of major brands too, but they want the most for their dollar and I’ve noticed that the major brands need influencers with 10’s of thousands of reach on their social profiles – one of the major reasons I’ve fallen off the planet with Fitfluential!

    1. this particular race I’m thinking of is really far away and somewhere I would also need to spend a couple of weeks. plus the marathon itself is a lottery so I need to be prepared to go should I get in… so I need to know I can afford it when I enter that lottery. It’s a destination I’ve been dreaming of going for 25 years! So really, really high on the list… but I don’t think my body will be ready next year for a marathon; realistically I think I’ll enter NEXT August and pray/chant/do voodoo that I get in :) I was thinking about it earlier today and I would definitely not have had time to be a brand ambassador anyway! good luck to those who made it!

  5. Hmmmm, I think every woman, if honest, would admit that they have at least thought about liposuction on some part of their body. If they haven’t, they either haven’t had any children yet or haven’t gained the dreaded extra weight that menopause brings with it! However, I definitely know that losing some extra weight wouldn’t help me in the speed department one bit. I’m just a slower runner. Period. I could get a little faster with more work, but I’m not willing to put the time in. However, I know a multitude of runners who are much heavier than I am and way faster too!

    I completely understand your frustration with the Asics deal….some brands are just looking for a specific “look”. Allow yourself a little pity party over a glass of wine then move on. You’ve got way to much to offer others out there to let them get you down! :)

    1. I have been faster at a bit lower weight- I guess that’s what I’m hanging on to! But to be perfectly honest, I haven’t reached that magical number yet, so I imagine that I could be faster without any further proof. I am a slow runner, so I don’t need to suddenly break records, but I do want to someday run a marathon under 5 hours :) I may go to a liposuction consult, but I am certainly not going to do it this year. If I were to do it, I would need to save up that money. I’m not spending travel money on that! Thanks so much for saying I have something to offer others – I think I will have that glass of wine and soon I’ll be over it!

  6. I get on the scale daily. Just to keep everything in check. Even though I run everyday, I do not want to over compensate with the food I am in taking. After most runs I am starving but know I did not burn near as my calories and I am going to consume afterwards.

    1. I used to weigh in every day, back when I was actually at my goal weight (WW goal weight, so around 2001 – 2004). I’m about 15lbs above that now (it was a bit more) and weighing daily just messes up my head. But it’s a good check to have! I think that’s one of my downfalls… thinking I can just eat all the food because I had a long run… hence logging in MFP for now!

  7. I used to weigh myself all the time but it was unhealthy. The number would dictate how I would feel for the day which is very messed up! Lipo… I never met anyone who did that! I would say just research that SHIT out of it before you do it. Talk to people, even if online, who had good and bad experiences.

  8. awww, hugs to you ;-) We all have these (or very similar) thoughts. I see a lot of ambassadorships for companies, and I apply for some of them…then shake my head at some of the people who get chosen while I get overlooked. I’m certainly not “fast,” my blog following is not all-encompassing, and I don’t live in a metro area….but neither do a lot of the others (but they’re not getting shunned). Oh well, I still LOVE running and all the wonderful peeps in my life because of it…so it’s still all good. Chin UP!

    1. yes at the end of the day I love running too and I love the friendships I’ve made and the the people I’ve met, so it’s allllll good!

    1. I wish I could do that. Right now I just can’t. Sigh. One day I will be free from it. I guess at least it’s not so obsessive now as with daily weighing. I can go weeks without it. The challenge is a whole month and then more!

  9. Oh Renee I hear you on so much of this! Since turning 50 the whole weight thing has just made me want to throw my scale out the window! I find myself shaking my head at some of the sponsorship stuff, especially with the big brands. I think some of the smaller brands are better at working with a range of runner types. And the fear thing…yes it’s what keeps me from ultimately pulling the trigger to register for a full marathon.

  10. There are definitely areas of my body I’m disappointed with. I’m pretty sure that some of it is age, some of it is the fact that I’ve lost 40 lbs more than once — stretched out skin. My sister doesn’t have the saggy arms, for instance, not to the degree that I do.

    I’d like it to be gone, but personally I wouldn’t do liposuction. That’s me though. Everyone is different.

    I don’t own a scale, but I am a Weight Watchers member (at goal, free lifetime) and I go to meetings every week & that’s where I weight in. Sometimes it’s up & I know why, sometimes I don’t & it’s aggravating. Only people who have really had a weight problem can understand though!

    1. I do know that liposuction is not something everyone would do. I have been thinking about it for so many years. But maybe it’s just something that will stay in my thoughts. We shall see!

      I was (well technically still am!) a lifetime WW but I stopped completely last year. I just can’t get into the program and being over my goal and having to pay each week was not motivating me as I had thought it would. I don’t personally find that WW has adapted themselves to people who are very active. maybe I’m wrong. I do miss the weekly checkins and the sense of community but I needed to move on. But you are right, if you have never had a weight problem it’s hard to really understand what “we” go through. Most people in my life don’t even know I had any issue. Well, not until pretty recently in any case.

  11. I’ve never done a brand ambassador thing or applied. It sounds intriguing and fun but also like a lot of work? You’d think they want people of all types repping them. *shrug* their loss!

    With lipo, I’d be so annoyed with not being able to go play outside, and I’d be scared that everything would just go right back to where it was before unless I was SUPER vigilant. But it has been in my mind that it would be nice to have a flat stomach, as I feel like mine will NEVER be even when I was at my goal weight…

    The scale and I are not getting along right now but it’s ok. I’ve learned that I can either emphasize performance OR weight loss and I’m more concerned about the former right now. I’m super jealous of the people who can just slim down training for events but I’ve accepted that that’s not MY reality, so it is what it is.

    1. it’s not so much work with Rocknblog. this year we’ll have to do a bit more but it doesn’t feel like work anyway. but yeah, with Asics it probably will be quite some work for those who were chosen.

      I was a month with no activity from my food op. I know what you mean though. I hate not being able to MOVE. so when or if the time even comes obviously that’s going to be a huge thing.

      You and I are alike that way. We can have all the workouts and still be what people consider to be overweight. Either one day we’ll get there or one day we’ll finally just say screw it (with caution of course ;) ).

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