Better. But Apparently Boring.

This week?  Much, much better. 

First off, last week I said

So, how about a do-over. How about just a couple of things:
1) I will go to Zumba on Tuesday night and gym on Thursday
2) I will track at least 3 days this week
3) I will finally weigh-in again on Saturday 30th Jan. I did w/i yesterday, 82.4KG. I don’t even know if there is any change there or not.

I DID go to Zumba on Tuesday and it kicked my cellulitus to the curb.
I did NOT go to gym on Thursday. Instead I ran. Hubs was interested in going running again so I took advantage of that.
I DID track 3 days. But just barely.
I DID weigh in this morning: 81.8 KG. That’s a loss of 600 gr or about 1.3 lbs. Whew!

Something else I did? I signed up for the Zandvoort Circuit Run (link is in Dutch) – a 12KM loop that will take place on 28th March. There is no turning back now, I am GOING to do this! So I need to get it in gear and quick because I’ve never actually run a full 12KM before (10 was my max). 2 KM is actually on the beach, and one of my friends lives very close so I’ll go and train with him a few times to get a feel for sand running.

I feel like I ate really well, dealt with stress fairly well and got *just* enough sleep.  So overall I’d say this week was a success.

This week I’d like to:
1) track at least 3 days. a FULL three days.
2) go to the gym at least twice
3) go for a run at least twice
4) see another loss on the scale next Saturday

This past week, one of my favourite WW Bloggers and All-Around Glamour Girl *Bitch Cakes* mentioned me on her blog which in turn got me a lot of hits on my blog.

However, I must be very boring, because with over 130 hits, not one comment.  Why is that? What is it that people want? What inspires you to actually comment on someone’s blog and well, life, actually?

And I have “met” so many lovely people on Twitter and through other weight loss blogs and I’m feeling like I didn’t quite make the cut to be with the cool kids.  To be very honest, I know what I’m thinking and feeling is a little odd and childish… and admittedly most of this blogging shit stuff is for me to be accountable, to get stuff out, to see my own progress, work out my way of thinking, etc. and that’s cool.  But I was hoping at some point to have more of a support group.  Perhaps I’m doing it wrong or looking in the wrong place?

Or perhaps all of this is just a cover up for something else?  I remember talking to Hubs this week and we were discussing success and failure.  I can tell you that a lot goes through my mind when thinking about these two things (and funnily enough, it was also mentioned on a TwoFitChicks Podcast I heard last week) and I get extremely emotional when actually discussing the subjects.  Hubs was saying that he would never aspire to be a runner, that he just wants to go running to get rid of the 5KG he put on in the last 6 months.  I said I really wanted to become a runner.  That running to me and actually finishing a run or a work out that I set up for myself, makes me feel like a success.  I don’t feel successful in other areas.  In fact in most areas of my life I feel like a failure.  This, of course, is not reality (Of course I’ve had successes in my life, I just tend to forget them 99% of the time).  Just talking about it made me get a lump in my throat and want to cry.  Anyway, that’s another blog that I am going to open up about, just not right now.

Even if I want this to be a place where I can write whatever I want and be honest and open and write out my own history as it’s happening, I still want to have people accept me, “follow” me, comment, say “hey, great job!” and with 130 hits and not even a “hey”, well, it feels kind of like a let down.  Like, I’m 12 again and it’s only me and the deaf kids left over to be picked for PE basketball teams.

Don’t get me wrong. I got a few comments last week and I’m grateful.  I’m talking about the 130 hits. 

Anyway.  Enough Verbal Vomit. Maybe It’s the moon. Or the Stars. Or the planets. Or, whatever.  Sometimes I’m just a mess in my head.

I noticed that the blog was also hit with searches in Dutch, for the Weight Watchers ProPoints Plan.  I am happy to answer any questions.  Als uw iets wil weten over het programma, laat maar een comment achter – ik vind het leuk te proberen een antwoord te geven.