I just wanna know

is this what it’s going to be like?

are there no others out there who share my experience?

I mean, you read and hear all of those people who for example:
1) started running and shed loads of unwanted lardy pounds
2) ate low carb/ joined Weight Watchers/ did calorie counting / shakes/ other diets and shed loads of unwanted lardy pounds
3) found they “just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore” after shedding loads of unwanted lardy pounds.

Me? I lost some weight after I started running.

I lost weight with Weight Watchers, for sure.


Everything stopped. Everything. No more weight loss (I started running at 95KG, goal was 70, I’ve not moved below 79). ProPoints didn’t work at all once I made the switch and I tried people. I tried.

I’m seriously having a constant battle with myself. Every day I wake up and I think “I can do this today.” Some days I do. In fact, the last time I weighed in at My Fitness Pal I actually was down to 80.9KG. So, this calorie counting shindig seems to be going all right. Just one little thing though… or maybe two…

I am hungry. This is not the first time you’ve heard this from me. I AM HUNGRY.
Every time I weigh-in (which is NOT weekly) I completely overeat that day. I am trying to find a weigh-in day where there is no risk of being carted away by colleagues for beers or bitterballen. Friday is NOT a good day to weigh in.

Oh? What’s that you say? You shouldn’t be hungry. You should plan for these things. Exercise and use those calories to combat any need for extras. You should eat more protein. Complex Carbs. Fill up on veggies. Get your fibre in. Drink tea and lots of water! Get your good fats. Stay away from processed foods.

Anyway. Last week I weighed in and saw that number 80 again. OK, 80.9, fine. That evening I had beers and bitterballen, on Saturday I had a wine tour and tasting arranged with friends (you don’t want to know how many glasses), dinner out with half of those friends (you don’t want to know what was consumed), Sunday was supposed to be my bike ride to work off all of my sins yet it was “about to rain” any minute (I finally went for 1 hour/ 15KM), then more feasting on beer, wine, pizza and ice cream.

No, not every weekend is like that.

Yesterday I was eating for my countrymen.

Today, I am just empty. Hungry.

I have tried everything! (or have I?) I can’t run. I’m hungry (sorry, am I repeating myself). There’s no loss of appetite. My sins are only alcohol and normally only on the weekends. I admit it, I’m not making excuses or trying to say I’m perfect. I don’t eat junk (*there are emotional moments, I attempt to log everything on MFP*), refined sugars, simple carbs, MSG, etc. I eat well. Really well.

Do I just accept this is the way it’s going to be now?


  1. Hey-O! I’m blogging again… (It’s me Glam!)

    I’ve been around the block long enough to know that you’ve been struggling for a while and are giving it your all. Have you had a good check-up with a doc or endocrinologist to determine if it’s an imbalance of some kind? I know what that frustration feels like and I’m not even working as hard as you are. It must be maddening.

    I wouldn’t accept anything except the results you want. Force doctor’s to confirm there’s nothing medically wrong before you go mad trying to figure out why your methods aren’t working.

    PS – I too am hungry. All. of. the. time.

    1. Renée says:

      Glam o Rama!!!! Yay!!!!

      I’ve done allllllll of those things. Exhaustively. Only thing now that I can do to repair any damage is to stop working 130KM away, get more rest and my body will reset itself back again. It would seem I am just producing too much cortisol. So it’s kind of like having a hangover all the time. You know, how you could eat a house and it’s contents when you are hungover? I don’t get enough sleep and after 4+ years it’s wreaked major havoc on me.

      Now you know how much I love my job/ company… so… what to do? Can’t move closer, not in the cards (debt)…

      I’m sorry you are hungry too. Glad to see you again though!! xx

  2. The other commenter also suggested this already but I would have said to make sure nothing is medically wrong with you, i.e., having your hormone and glucose/insulin levels checked by an endocrinologist.
    Other than that, I am not sure what else to say. I just hate seeing you torture yourself like this, it sounds like you are constantly fighting a battle and I don’t think it should be that hard. :( I am not sure if it is possible for you but have you considered that if you are living healthily and have no health issues due to your weight, to simply accept that this is how much you weigh (at least as long as you cannot change your life’s circumstances, such as your job/commuting)? Stop tormenting yourself, and just try to maintain your current weight? Just an idea, it’s up to you of course, I just feel so bad for you, because I can see how hard you are trying, I can only imagine how frustrating it must be. *hugs*

    1. Renée says:

      sorry it took me a while Karen to publish your comment! I have in fact had loads of tests done. I’m healthy as a horse. I do ok accepting on most days, but some days it’s just harder. Especially after several very hungry days, I just get so tired of trying so hard. Thanks so much, especially for the hugs! xxx

  3. Hey, I was reading an old post o mine you had commented on and I was like “HELL YEZ I MISS THAT WOMAN!” So I came over to say hi.

    I brought cupcakes and nothing productive to add. Hope that helps. :)

    Smooches and jughugs, Kirsten

    1. Renée says:

      Kirsten, hey!!! your comment went into spam! great seeing you again *smooches back*

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