Motivation, that fickle Friend

14 September, 2010 Off By Renée

What motivates you? To do anything really?

I have a few motivators in my life.

I’m motivated to get out of the bed (albeit reluctantly at times) on weekdays to go to work. I do this because I have bills to pay and prefer that to people breathing down my neck asking me to pony up my debt with them. I do this also because, even though I lose 20+ hours a week commuting to and from that place, I actually like it. I like my colleagues. I like the company. I feel good there.

I haven’t always felt good there. At least not 100%. But I stay because I visualize the good things when the not-so-good get me down. To be honest, I’ve had it pretty good there and it continues to go better and I continue to grow. That’s a good motivator to me.

I’m motivated to spend time with my husband and step-kids. 99% of the time I truly enjoy their company and my heart feels like it’s going to explode from the love I get from them. I’m motivated to be considerate, kind and loving, and I get it back. So when I have an argument with my man I always forgive because I think about the good things, the things that remind me WHY I’m there in the first place.

I’m motivated to keep in touch with and reach out to friends. I haven’t always been the best friend in the world and yes I’m a bit selfish and self-absorbed at times. When I have disagreements or become annoyed when others are acting out (for whatever reason), I remember why we were friends in the first place. I think about the great times we’ve been through together and I keep going.

I’m motivated to feed and water my cats. I love them and would hate if anything would happen to them. They depend on me and give me love right at the exact time that I need it.

I’m motivated to do regular things for myself like my laundry – who wants to run out of clean knickers, right? And I like to look and feel like I’ve made an effort. When I see a cute girl in the mirror that cleans up well and looks pretty ok for a 42-year-old, I feel good about myself. I remember that feeling on those days when I don’t want to bother having a shower or getting dressed (like on the weekend) and I do it anyway. I’m always glad I do it.

I think most people have motivators like this or at least something similar. So why is it so hard to be motivated to take care of ourselves enough to be FIT and HEALTHY?

Why is the “diet” and exercise the first thing to go?

What makes it OK to lose our motivation when it boils down to two CORE ASPECTS of our lives?

What is this, MOTIVATION thing? It seems it’s a fickle friend. It’s there for so many other things, maybe it’s even there for your 100%, giving you it’s undying love and attention and then WHAMMO! It drops you like a hot potato.

And funny how it goes when you are:

Oh, so you are only my friend in GOOD TIMES? No, no, Mo. I’m not going to have a relationship like that.

Motivation. It’s not what you think. It’s a concept. An idea. Something we can easily use to propel us towards good things, but also something to BE USED AS AN EXCUSE.

Can you imagine if we used it on other things besides ourselves?

“Oh, Hi, Visa Card. I can’t pay you this month; I lost my motivation to write out my cheques.”

“Hey, honey. I can’t really bother caring about you this month. I love you but I’ve no motivation to show it.”

“Hey, guys, sorry, I have no motivation to shower or wear clean clothes. Brushing my teeth is cumbersome as well. You don’t mind do you?”

These things sound a bit ridiculous, right?

So why is it OK to say “I can’t be bothered to eat right today. My motivation is completely gone” or “I’ve no motivation to get out and run or go to the gym”?

I felt a bit like I was struggling sometimes with motivation the last months. I’m frustrated. I’m hungry. I’m still not finding a balance with my food.

But I don’t want to be friends with Mo in only certain situations. I want that 100% undying love. That love is me loving myself. I am different but EQUALLY important as my job, my husband, and my relationships.

Any other friend you wouldn’t put up with at only 50%, would you?

Don’t let Mo think you are not important. You have control over you. No one and nothing else. YOU. Stay motivated to take care of you. We get one life; make you a priority in it.

If you are struggling with motivation, think about why you started this in the first place. What is the reason that you wanted to become healthy or to become active? Did those reasons change? Do you still have the same desire for the end result? That you will be healthier and leaner and younger? Or maybe that you will become an athlete? Focus on what is important and don’t make excuses that you have no “willpower” or “motivation”. You are the only one who can do this.