A Break

Phew. With the last months of running, goals, dietitians, working, not-sleeping enough, counting, traveling, and the last two weekends with each having a race on Sunday, I really needed a break.

I didn’t actually realize I needed a break of course. Typical me likes to just keep going, even though I don’t really like it… it’s what I do, I just keep going.

Sunday was my 16K and frankly all of the training and all of the mental preparation, plus work was really enough for me. This week I’ve done a whole lot of nothing.

Well, that’s not true. I have done things that needed to be done. I’ve done things I just wanted to do. I fulfilled step-parenting duties. I deliciously laid on the couch Tuesday night and watched Glee. I saw friends I hadn’t seen for at least five weeks. I went to bed early. That brings me to today.

I should also mention that it’s ridiculously busy and stressful at work this week. I work in accounting and this is our year-end. Madness is ensuing. A new business unit will be coming onboard at the beginning of October. It’s review time. Normally I have a lot going at once but right now it is madness. I had an argument with the candy jar this week and it won – but it wasn’t a messy, bloody disastrous fight. I recognize these things when they are happening; sometimes I mindlessly find the chocolates in my throat working their way to my stomach, sometimes I overcome.

I have really been so exhausted this week. I have made the decision to sleep until 5:30 every morning this week except for Monday, because I would rather sleep than prepare certain basis food items to take with me to work. In the past I’ve done things and mentally checked out, eating whatever simply because I hadn’t planned. This week was a little different. I did have some items at work and I can buy healthy items (as well as very unhealthy) and I pretty much did that. No counting, no weighing or measuring. I am just keeping and eye on things, being aware of my choices.

Yesterday I had that urge again. My nemesis, the candy jar was calling my name.

(EMPTY on a Friday)

I took a breath. I went downstairs and instead I bought non-fat yoghurt and a small packet of muesli. I was in fact hungry, chocolates would have been easy – 15 steps to the jar – I chose to work through it instead and go and get something that would make me feel better in the end for choosing it.

So, I’m on a break. But I’m really not. I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have the mental vigorous discussions about what to do, “what to don’t” (as my husband says). I don’t know if that day will ever come. Does it come to others? Do we ever stop thinking about what the right thing to do is? What the right decision is?

I believe Saturday we are due to start running again. I also plan on making a good shopping list and a meal plan for next week. I want to get back in my normal routine again. Being in my routine will most likely help me deal with the stress at work better. Yes I’m a bit of a control- freak, but I think I should use that to my advantage in this situation.

And for those number nerds out there – I’ve been pretty much winging it this week food wise yet I weighed 80.5KG when I got on the scale this week, which to me is pretty much a “maintain”. As per usual. So when I try I gain or stay the same. When I don’t try I gain or stay the same. At least I am consistent!!

What do you do when you just need a break? Are you not totally on a break or do you just throw caution to the wind and deal with the consequences later?

7 thoughts on “A Break

  1. Sometimes, you just NEED to take a break, y’know? You work yourself so hard and BAM, you break a little, and yeah. It’s good that you didn’t TOTALLY break! Shows how strong you are. <3

    I, personally, don't handle "taking a break" well, because it usually leads to … well. Not coming off of the break for months as a time. Or years. But if it's a little break, like during the day? I strip off, climb into bed, and put my iPod on, listen to some of the hypnosis tracks I've got on there to relax to. :)

  2. I would worry that we are the same person except I didn’t run a 16K last weekend. This week has been really rough for me too. I tried counting points but I went over every night. I’ve been really hungry and I needed to eat. I haven’t been to the gym this week, not once. Maybe I will go today after work. I haven’t had the desire or the energy. And my weight has not changed either.

  3. I didn’t specifically say, and I meant to; I already had a fight with the candy jar and the result was: 3 Mini Nuts, 2 Mini Rolos and 3 Celebrations (if you are not in the UK or Europe maybe you don’t know what these are and yes I didn’t make the UK a part of Europe just now ;) ) So yes I am human, I lost one fight, but I wasn’t going to go another round.

    I definitely don’t want to get in a mental place where I really am taking a break. You can’t really take a break from your life can you? I guess you can, but I just don’t WANT to do that again. Never again.

  4. I think your break sounds just right. I would probably make my ‘break’ look like yours (make it essentially not be one by still watching what you eat). But with WW I usually don’t ‘need’ a break as I can eat what I like (so if I wanted a pizza I could have one), and it doesn’t stress me out to follow the plan. So if I take a break it would much more likely be because I wanted to take one, not because I actually needed it.

  5. Sometimes your body tells you to take a break. You have been training so hard for the Dam tot Dam, it was a good decision to take a break after it. I have recovery weeks, after every 3 weeks of training (mostly running) I take a recovery week in which I do different workouts and only 2 runs in that week: a short and a long run. I did this only once and it really helped me. Next week is another one.

    Like you I’m a control freak, meal planning is something I do ever since I started living together 16 years ago. It started because I don’t like grocery shopping and do that once a week.

    Don’t you just love Glee? I love it, especially what they did with the songs on the show.

  6. Sometimes you do need a break. I take breaks from counting points. I don’t go all crazy, but I am a little more free than I am when I’m totally on plan (which I don’t know when that last was. ha).

    It’s okay that you let the candy jar win….I let the little mini pumpkin candies win today. Shit happens. :)

    Now just don’t be an a break forever. :)

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