More Running, less Whinging.

Every new year I imagine myself as one of those people who come up with brilliant goals and resolutions and every year I pretty much come up with not-a-whole-lot.

In 2010 I lost exactly 1 kilogram of weight, which was not really my intention, no, in fact, I really thought I would have hit my goal weight this year. When I started (the last time) in March 2009 I weighed in at 98.5KG or 217 lbs (the year before I know I’d reached 101 at some point, so there was some effort in 2008, just not a lot). My last weigh-in of 2009 was on December 30th at 82.2KG which is a loss for 2009 of 16.3 KGS or 36lbs. My last weigh-in of 2010 was on December 29th, at 81.2KG or 17.3 KGS / 38 lbs lost..

On top of all of the events in December (work stress, my dad being diagnosed with prostate cancer and my beloved cat of 18 years dying), weighing in 1 kilo less than last year really pissed me off and brought me to a point beyond frustration. Since complaining about it on twitter is reduced to 140 characters per tweet I had the feeling that many people just thought I was bitching and nay-saying to suggestions and being stubborn about Weight Watchers in particular without being willing to try anything else. I want to clear a few things up right now:

1) I have tried several different variations of eating; eating more, eating less, eating carbs on work out days, eating every few hours, eating only every 4 -6 hours, eating more fruit, eating less fruit, eating all my points and activity points, even eating more bread (on dietitian’s suggestion). Really. I swear I have tried.

2) I follow Weight Watchers probably just for the guidelines alone. I follow no set meal plan, I eat what I want/like when I want. WW is designed to let you choose and fit it in the program whilst following the fit formulas. Counting calories (while it works for others and that’s a personal choice) is definitely not for me. Why? Because for me, eating is more than just a number of calories. If I knew I should only eat 1500 cals per day I’d just eat that much in chocolate or peanut butter. If I started counting calories I’d have to also count fat, protein, fiber and that’s already where my head starts spinning. Why would I do that when WW has already worked it out for me?

3) I am definitely eating enough.

4) I eat probably 5 servings of fruit and 5 servings of vegetables per day. The fruit could be an issue but I’ve already reduced it from last summer and I need something to eat in between meals.

5) I do think my activity level at times is too high for a standard member of Weight Watchers, but then again, if others are losing weight every week and reaching their goals, why aren’t I? (I know, everyone is different).

6) I have shaken things up more times than I can shake a stick at.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I’m done. I’m done talking about my weight. I’m done comparing and feeling sad and like a failure. I’m NOT a failure!! This year will be more running and less whinging about my weight. I started running to get fit and I have continued because it actually makes me feel great, so the focus is being shifted to that.

I am still overweight. I don’t want to be, but OK, it is what it is right now. How many times have I said to people “It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get there, it only matters that you get there”? I need to follow my own words of wisdom, don’t you think?

December did not turn out the way I wanted it to turn out. It’s ok. I have a new month and a new start and I am excited about the future. I wanted to sign up for six races in 2011 and those races are:

1) Egmond half marathon (10.5K portion) – 9 JANUARY
2) Zandvoort Circuit Run (this was my first race last year) 12 K – 27 MARCH
3) Utrecht Marathon – HALF MARATHON 25 APRIL
4) Rondje vom Ederveen 15K – 11 JUNE
5) Bridge to Bridge Arnhem 10K – 12 SEPTEMBER
6) Zevenheuvelenloop Nijmegen 15K – 21 NOVEMBER

I reserve the right to add races to this list :) I would like to do at least one race outside of the Netherlands, I just have to figure out where and when.

So. There are no resolutions. There are no “goals for the year”. Sure there’s stuff I’d like to accomplish. Fitness related and totally non-fitness related. What it boils down to is feeling good about myself, not only my physical body, but my mind, my soul. Running helps, so I’m going to go with that.

What are you going to do more of this year? What less?

Happy New Year Everyone! I wish you all maximum peace, happiness, laughter, love and of course your favorite pie on special occasions.


  1. Karen says:

    I’m also a no resolutions person, but in my head (and my heart, I suppose) there are things I am working on. I suspect you and I are in a small minority, not making resolutions.

    1. Renée says:

      hmmm, been seeing more and more not making resolutions, just making good decisions :) I like it!

  2. deb says:

    I know how frustrated you’ve been. I’m glad you’ve decided to switch your focus. You’re running has been amazing this year. Enjoy the feeling it gives you. Remember how strong and fit your body is. Sometimes I think our bodies settle into a weight that maybe we don’t think is perfect, but it still okay. Maybe taking the focus off of the weight will help you to realize how much of yourself is working well, instead of feeling like you’re doing something wrong. You’re doing everythng right. Have a fabulous New Year!

    1. Renée says:

      Deb, thank you so much. I think too if I truly accept my body at this weight, I can really do amazing things with the running. It’s not the end of the world to be 10KG overweight. 3 years ago it was 30KG! Hope you also have wonderful things in store for you in 2011!

  3. Emilie says:

    I know we’ve had a few exchanges on Twitter and I know you really have tried everything. I think focussing on your running is the best thing you can do. I am totally impressed with how far you can run now and I am inspired to slowly build up my own running in 2011. I am going to start with just doing some daily exercise. For me that is the first thing I have to commit to. It isn’t a resolution and I don’t want to give myself any ridiculous goals that make me feel bad when I haven’t achieved them. In fact the specific “resolution” I gave myself this year was:
    “to not give in to my own weaknesses and forgive myself more often” and also “to see more live comedy in 2011” :)
    I definitely need to make a dent in my weight – since being on WW since May 2010 I have GAINED 8kg or 17.6lbs which is pretty depressing but also makes me realise what a waste of money WW is if I don’t follow it!!

    I hope you are happier in 2011 and that some of the frustrations of 2010 melt into the past for you :D

    1. Renée says:

      Emilie, thank you so much. And by the way you have GREAT resolutions! If I would have one it would be “Laugh More”, but I’m already laughing all the time so that’s cheating hahaha!
      The best to you as well – you could shift your focus too and follow that program to the T; bet you’d get some of that weight off with your added daily exercise :)

  4. Jenny says:

    I think the other folks have already said it, but I’m thinking the same thing. Changing your focus is a great idea! I’ve followed you on Twitter for a while, and I know you’ve been so frustrated.

    Be sure to post lots of pictures of your races (a la Bitchcakes!). :)

    1. Renée says:

      Thanks Jenny! I’ll do my best! Actually now that hubs can’t run for a while I’ve asked him to get some good race photos! Watch this space ;)

  5. Marissa says:

    I like the new focus, I know how frustrated you have been focusing on the weight but I think changeing the focus to fitness and running will help. I think your on the right path babes!

    1. Renée says:

      thank you so much Marissa!!

  6. Fran says:

    Well the funny thing is that I’m going to focus less on weight and more on running. Sounds familiar? :lol:

    Nice list of races! Up till now I’ve only signed up for Utrecht but I might do some small short races before April (think 5K races) but only if I feel like it. After Utrecht I’ll see what other races I want to do.

    Make this a great running year Renée!

    1. Renée says:

      we seem to be a little in sync Fran! For a while now! Now if some of your super-agenda-planning would just rub off on me, that would be great!

      I thought I heard there’d be a 5K at Zandvoort – that something interesting for you?

      We are definitely going to have a great running year Fran!!

  7. Trixie says:

    I think you’re on the right track and I’m glad you’re going to get some bloodwork done as well. I hope you’re ok and just finding some kind of explanation and/or treatment will probably help alleviate sone of your frustration.

    I’ve found that I could never stick to weight loss goals I set, only to activity goals. Not sure why, but at least I have measurable success somewhere when the scale hasn’t cooperated.

    That said, I do want to commend you for a couple things, even though you may not want to hear them when you’re annoyed:

    1. You may not have lost much, but you didn’t gain. I am actually highly impressed with this! I once put on over 30lbs in a year while going to the gym. Clearly, you are doing something right.
    2. You haven’t given up! I have been off and on Weight Watchers since I was 21 and this is the only time I took the bad, but then stuck with it.

    Btw, I think your race outside of the Netherlands should be here in the NYC area. You in?

    1. Renée says:

      Trixie, thank you so much. there are days when I am able to put it into perspective like this. I am building on those days. I know the old me would have screamed “screw this” a long time ago. It’s going to be fine. Even if I never lose another ounce. I’m not going to give up on healthy. Or running. So, I don’t really have much choice do I?

      My appointment with my doctor is next Thursday. I’ll keep you guys posted.

      I really wish I could do a race in NYC. Tell you what – maybe not this year, but maybe next year. But it’s gotta be good and it’s gotta include you, Melanie and Ms. Sheryl (and whatever other cool chicks are available). What do you think?

  8. Rhonda says:

    I love the new look!
    I also love your change of focus, I think it’s just what the doctor ordered!

    1. Renée says:

      thanks Rhonda!

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