A Charm

21 August, 2010 Off By Renée

This is the third time I’ve attempted to make a blog post.

Two days ago I I wrote a whingey little baby post. I may as well have filmed myself lying on the ground having a temper tantrum.

One day ago I wrote something that was a bit more grown up. I meant to post it and I didn’t. It’s irrelevant now.

Let’s see if I can do this today.

So, yeah, I was a bit annoyed/angry at the Social Media world, particularly Twitter, which I have two profiles for. Why do I? Well I don’t want to talk weight loss, food, etc. on my “normal” profile. Main reasons are 1) I don’t want to alienate non-WL people and 2) there are colleagues on the profile (like BigWig colleagues, but also regular dudes). I don’t think they need to be blatantly directed to my blog, do you? Nah. Didn’t think so.

My twitter profile that connects me to so many WL, healthy living and runner people is who I reach out to in the good and the bad times. So, for example, in the good, it would nice to be acknowledged for that. When I say I ran my 100th run since I got my Nike + it would be nice to get a “WHOO HOO”. When I explain how many kilometers and then calculate what that is in miles for people who don’t know they can google that information how to translate that into their own “language” , it would be nice to get a “Great job!”. When I demonstrate, for the visual people, what that means in distance from here to Dijon, France, it would be cool to get a “WOW” back. When you have followers that have 3,672 followers themselves, well, you become invisible. Unless you are a cool kid. Which I am not because I bitch too much and don’t blow smoke up people’s arses. I think my posts about my running just got lost in all of the other posts and therefore no one really had a chance or took the chance to say anything.

So that’s my whinge. Done and Dusted. Don’t take offence, I’m not talking about the people who regularly interact with me. I love you guys. I just sometimes feel like I did when I was in High School and I don’t want to feel that way. Twitter is just interwebz people (*ahem* Renée), it’s not High School, regardless of the cliques out there.

After going through that whole thing, all the emotions attached, etc., I realised.

It doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. I KNOW for myself how fecking cool it is to have run already 685 kilometres. I know what my leg muscles look and feel like now and I know that I am MILES (no KILOMETERS ;) ) ahead of where I was one year ago. So yeah, ROCK ON Pinky!!

What is in my head, where these emotions come from, is the damage leftover from surviving my childhood. We didn’t get a lot of “great job” and “I knew you could do it”‘s. No. In fact my parents still don’t really get that kids need that (and yes, at 41, I am still someone’s kid who is hoping deep down for just a tiny bit of praise) I want to get to a point mentally and emotionally where it doesn’t matter anymore!.

I will probably still rant and rave from time to time, but at least I know who my real tweeps are out there, eh? I’m glad there are several of you who put up with me.

So without further adieu (haha! a little French for you since I “ran” to France):

100 Runs so Far (since June 2009)

I went and got the Mustard ;) (get it? Dijon? hahaha. Yeah a real comedienne)

A few other updates.
1) I’m not tracking! DOH!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
2) I did not manage 30 days without the scale (challenge FAIL!) AND I gained weight. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
3) I have not started reading my book yet even though I picked it out. Garrrr!
4) I have not written to my grandmother.
5) I HAVE made my appointment for my tattoo consult.
6) I have 30 KM to run to reach my goal this month (but I have 9 days so it will happen)

I need to get it together. I am so affected by stress (work stress) and this is the result. Me. Flailing around and not being in control.

I signed up for Jess’ Drop Dead Gorgeous by Decemberr challenge. Not that I’m not already drop dead gorgeous, but, you know… I guess I better fully read the rules of the challenge since it starts tomorrow, eh?

What do you do when you don’t get the acknowledgment that you admit you need? Do you suck it up and find it within yourself?

How do you handle all of your followers/ followees? Do you ever feel invisible?

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