A Charm

This is the third time I’ve attempted to make a blog post.

Two days ago I I wrote a whingey little baby post. I may as well have filmed myself lying on the ground having a temper tantrum.

One day ago I wrote something that was a bit more grown up. I meant to post it and I didn’t. It’s irrelevant now.

Let’s see if I can do this today.

So, yeah, I was a bit annoyed/angry at the Social Media world, particularly Twitter, which I have two profiles for. Why do I? Well I don’t want to talk weight loss, food, etc. on my “normal” profile. Main reasons are 1) I don’t want to alienate non-WL people and 2) there are colleagues on the profile (like BigWig colleagues, but also regular dudes). I don’t think they need to be blatantly directed to my blog, do you? Nah. Didn’t think so.

My twitter profile that connects me to so many WL, healthy living and runner people is who I reach out to in the good and the bad times. So, for example, in the good, it would nice to be acknowledged for that. When I say I ran my 100th run since I got my Nike + it would be nice to get a “WHOO HOO”. When I explain how many kilometers and then calculate what that is in miles for people who don’t know they can google that information how to translate that into their own “language” , it would be nice to get a “Great job!”. When I demonstrate, for the visual people, what that means in distance from here to Dijon, France, it would be cool to get a “WOW” back. When you have followers that have 3,672 followers themselves, well, you become invisible. Unless you are a cool kid. Which I am not because I bitch too much and don’t blow smoke up people’s arses. I think my posts about my running just got lost in all of the other posts and therefore no one really had a chance or took the chance to say anything.

So that’s my whinge. Done and Dusted. Don’t take offence, I’m not talking about the people who regularly interact with me. I love you guys. I just sometimes feel like I did when I was in High School and I don’t want to feel that way. Twitter is just interwebz people (*ahem* Renée), it’s not High School, regardless of the cliques out there.

After going through that whole thing, all the emotions attached, etc., I realised.

It doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. I KNOW for myself how fecking cool it is to have run already 685 kilometres. I know what my leg muscles look and feel like now and I know that I am MILES (no KILOMETERS ;) ) ahead of where I was one year ago. So yeah, ROCK ON Pinky!!

What is in my head, where these emotions come from, is the damage leftover from surviving my childhood. We didn’t get a lot of “great job” and “I knew you could do it”‘s. No. In fact my parents still don’t really get that kids need that (and yes, at 41, I am still someone’s kid who is hoping deep down for just a tiny bit of praise) I want to get to a point mentally and emotionally where it doesn’t matter anymore!.

I will probably still rant and rave from time to time, but at least I know who my real tweeps are out there, eh? I’m glad there are several of you who put up with me.

So without further adieu (haha! a little French for you since I “ran” to France):

100 Runs so Far (since June 2009)

I went and got the Mustard ;) (get it? Dijon? hahaha. Yeah a real comedienne)

A few other updates.
1) I’m not tracking! DOH!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
2) I did not manage 30 days without the scale (challenge FAIL!) AND I gained weight. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??
3) I have not started reading my book yet even though I picked it out. Garrrr!
4) I have not written to my grandmother.
5) I HAVE made my appointment for my tattoo consult.
6) I have 30 KM to run to reach my goal this month (but I have 9 days so it will happen)

I need to get it together. I am so affected by stress (work stress) and this is the result. Me. Flailing around and not being in control.

I signed up for Jess’ Drop Dead Gorgeous by Decemberr challenge. Not that I’m not already drop dead gorgeous, but, you know… I guess I better fully read the rules of the challenge since it starts tomorrow, eh?

What do you do when you don’t get the acknowledgment that you admit you need? Do you suck it up and find it within yourself?

How do you handle all of your followers/ followees? Do you ever feel invisible?


  1. kristi says:

    I think you are freaking awesome!
    Yes, sometimes I feel invisible but I like Facebook and I have a twitter but don’t ever use it.

    1. Renée says:

      Kristi, I love you!!! thank you so much! I’m going to add your blog to my blogroll if that’s cool with you. I should have done that earlier.

      I also have two facebook accounts! One is for my homies and the other is just high school people and a few family members. My suspicion is that they just want to be nosy and I think I’m right – hardly anyone interacts with me there.

      So what do you DO when you feel invisible? Just snap yourself out of it?

  2. If I were a person who used Twitter I would tweet how awesome you are!

    Instead you’ll have to make do with this comment.

    Way to freaking go! That is super cool! Such an accomplishment!

    1. Renée says:

      Thanks Rhonda :)
      I think you are pretty awesome yourself!

  3. I understand how you feel, and I feel the same way sometimes. I’m definitely not part of the popular crowd in the blogging world.

    By the way, CONGRATS on running 100 runs and almost 700km. I never saw that tweet but it’s really a huge achievement.

    1. Renée says:

      thanks Karen! and man I need to get back over to your blog and add your new blog to my blogroll!

      us non-pops have to stick together, eh?

  4. deb says:

    I do know how you feel about the cool kids thing. Especially since this summer its been hard to comment onall thw blogs I love with the kids breathing down my neck. I’m away too long and then I disappear. But I try to remember why I do it in the first place. For myself. Just as you said, you kn ow how awesome you are. Its still nice to get a high five now and then, though. So high five to you,girl! Keep up the fantastic work!

    And sorry for all the typos, I’m typing from my phone :)

    1. Renée says:

      thanks Deb! I *do* mostly do this for myself, but who doesn’t like a bit of encouragement from time to time?

      and like I said to Fallon, if we really 100% did it for ourselves, it wouldn’t be for the world to see!

  5. Moonstorm says:

    I know exactly how you feel! You have achieved so much and your blog is wonderul. I feel invisible most of the time and no-one ever bothers listening. Have lost quite a bit of weight and no-one has commented!! Keep up your good work.

    1. Renée says:

      where are you so that I can also follow you? would love to keep up and cheer you on!

  6. Shauna says:

    Dijon distance… now that is freaking impressive. Belated congrats to you :)

    I have been pondering this and it is a very tricky situation! I have 2000 something followers, right. This throws up some issues:
    – if you don’t follow everyone back they hate you
    – if you do follow there is more tweets on your screen and higher chance you miss someones important tweet so they think you’re a snob
    – even higher chance if your job and/or life means you only get to look at twitter a couple times a day
    – if you try to keep up with more social media & you have less time to do things in the real world, like any exercise and you get lardy
    -if you tweet more your husband rolls his eyes when he sees you tapping on your iPhone yet again instead of talking to him

    Or maybe that’s just my experience :)

    In all seriousness I think social media throws up a lot of issues… about the meaningfulnessof it all, what it does to our heads. I know it screws with mine at times. Thanks for the food for thought and know that I for one think you rawk :)

    1. Renée says:

      hahaha! Shauna! thanks for your take on it – I have to say though people who are celebrities or even semi-celebrities are off the hook ;-)

      I generally now only follow people who don’t have a bazillion followers. There are a few exceptions. It’s exactly like what you said – if you follow (back) you will most likely miss or be missed. That’s no fun, right?

      I didn’t think so in the beginning, but actually every different form of interwebz socializing has brought out cliques. We should know it really hasn’t changed much since we were in school and not part of the in crowd because we wore jam-pot-bottoms glasses, no matter how cool and awesome we were underneath those glasses (or home-made clothes or rolls of fat). And lately I feel like the shunned New-Waver I was in high school, which made me the angry, bitter, sarcastic woman I am today ;-)

      I think you rawk too Shauna, thanks!!

  7. Hey! Hey!!!! WOO HOOO! I know what you mean about sometimes feeling invisible on Twitter. Sometimes I get great and immediate responses to tweets and other times… . But that’s how it is, I think. We send a “tweet” out into the universe and people may or may not here. For me, I only look at the Tweets that are visible on the page when I happen to open it up, so I MISS A LOT. I’ve missed some of my dearest friends sharing important news. That’s why it’s good to have FB and blogs as backup. ;-) Or email! Or phone! How quaint!

    Anyway, yahooooooo on your run to France. I think that is quite awesome and impressive.

    1. Renée says:

      you know, maybe that’s what it is! people don’t go further back than what is on the page! By Joe I think you’ve got it!! I always go back as far as I can because of the time difference, but maybe that’s why things get missed.

      ha and maybe I should post my phone, facebook and email info too!

      thanks thanks thanks very much!

  8. Tracy says:

    I, personally, think you deserve more than a, “WOW,” and a pat on the back. I think you deserve a, “HELL YEAH YOU ROCK, GIRL!” because oh, my God, that’s some distance to do in 100 runs.

    Congratulations, seriously. I am so impressed, even if I am a little slow on the uptake. XD

    1. Renée says:

      thank you thank you Tracy!
      and don’t think you haven’t inspired me by the way – I’m seriously considering a spinning class….*eek*

  9. karen says:

    You ALWAYS rock in my book … long ass runs or not. You just do.

    As for the whole social media as high school hell … I’ve already decided that over the next few nights at work I’ll probably spend a good amount of time weeding out my follows and feeds so I can actually focus more on who I actually want to focus more on and not who I somehow feel obligated to follow for whatever reason.

    (You, my dear, are not an obligation. No deletion happening here!)

    1. Renée says:

      *mwuah* thanks Karen!!

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