First a wee little update.
Monday’s plans went out the window. There was no gym. There was no healthy dinner. There was however a 4 hour commute home and a pizza delivery service. Yeah. Shit happens. And lately the commute has been so bad – every single day something; trains cancelled or late or suddenly having a diversion. I have spoken to my boss now about how this is pretty much affecting my health. I didn’t really want to discuss my weight loss (or lack thereof) with my manager, but to be honest, this whole situation I am in IS actually affecting me. I think about looking for a new job too often for someone who actually loves where she works, simply because I don’t want to commute like this anymore. So I just told him and proposed that I somehow find a way and a good schedule to work from home at least one day a week. He said he didn’t want to lose me, and if I had to do one or two days even I should do it. So now i have that to think about and make work for me and my team (I’m the supervisor, and it’s handy for me to be there for them). Something to think about and put into motion.
Finally I went running again! YES! Yesterday evening, once again problems with the trains, but hubs had to go and study so he cooked our Monday dinner before I arrived home and had to eat without me. I was pretty unhappy that I wouldn’t even get to see hubs, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I got home, had half a portion of dinner and the got ready to run. I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, mostly ones that were trying to prevent me from going. I’ve learned in just the last month that I still have a long way to go before I have really changed and made habits that are really, truly who I am. There is still a sizeable (no pun intended) part of me that is lazy. Period. So I ran. 5 minute warmup, 15 minutes running, 5 minutes fast walking, 15 minutes running, 5 minutes cool down. In total 6 kilometers. It’s not a half-marathon, but hey, you have to start back somewhere.
In keeping up with my plans for this week, I also went to the Dietitian today, so I worked from home. I packed my stuff and took it with me so I could go straight from my appointment. I cycled to the gym., did a 20 minute cardio warmup on the elliptical, and then went through my circuit. To be honest, it felt good in the beginning, but I was extremely tired halfway through. I pushed through though and then cycled home again. Oh and I did check about spinning and bought a different water bottle so that I could actually drink during spinning (my water bottles are not really handy for sports).
So yeah. The Dietitian. We talked a bit about how it was going. She asked me if I lost any weight. This morning I did go on the scale, because I knew she would ask me. If I remember correctly when I saw her the first time, I weighed 80.5KG. This morning I saw 79.9KG. After my weekend in Amsterdam and London I saw as high as 81.5KG. But these kinds of fluctuations don’t faze me anymore. I expected to go up from my weekends away. A kilo’s not a big deal. Seeing 79.9KG isn’t a big deal either. I can’t and won’t get excited about this because I need it to stay this way or go lower for me to truly believe I could be past all of this. Anyway. I told her my weight and I told her I’m doing better in a few areas.
1) I haven’t been exercising at all in a month. Well not really. I went bicycling in London but that’s it. So I haven’t been as hungry as I usually am.
2) I have been sleeping more, because I haven’t been exercising (going to bed late) or getting up early to prepare my meals.
3) I tried the tips and tricks for the afternoon hungries but they are not working. I am still very hungry by the time I get home, even though I’m eating from 3.30pm onwards.
4) I have come to the conclusion that dinner is still too much.
She gave me more ideas and suggested that I definitely make sure that I have higher protein based snacks in the afternoon, plus she gave me a list of a few other suggestions that I will have a look at (but there are already quite a few things on the list that I have tried and do eat regularly.
I mentioned to her that I have the feeling I have to just accept that this is my weight and I’m still very frustrated. She told me not to give up yet. She told me that we are just going to keep trying, that maybe we will not have fast, easy results, but we will figure it out. I have another appointment on the 17th of November and I need to send her a food diary of minimum three days prior to then.
No super exciting, just more things to try. I need to figure out how to structure my life. Work. Exercise. Food. Everything. Kind of overwhelming. Where do I start?
Loving the new blog! Haven’t been doing much blog reading lately, but glad you’re back at it. Even though you’re stressed about commuting etc..you sound calmer, not as intense about the numbers etc. You sound excited about YOU and not particular food, numbers etc!!
ah, thanks Tammy! I am definitely getting to a point of acceptance. Not particularly of the numbers, but more like this is my life right now, how can I work with it?
The new blog is great and I love hearing that you have bad days too!! I think it’s great that you have been looking at your lifestyle and all the factors needed to lose weight (not just food) because so often we become obsessed with food and that isn’t enough. I tend to go between exercise-aholic and verified couch potato (am having a couch potato week) so I fully sympathise with how you feel when you need to go for a jog. Keep trying and don’t give up.. I’m certain that you will succeed if you keep doing what you are doing. It’s great your boss is willing to offer you some flexibility with your job. I personally don’t think I could work without the flexibility I get and it makes a huge difference to your happiness :)
Have a fabulous week!
thanks for coming by Emilie! I’m definitely not giving up, it’s not really an option, you know? I still need to put a proper proposal in writing to my boss so he can present it to the other bosses, maybe this week… I did talk to a colleague of mine who is really good with that stuff and she also gave me some great ideas. It most certainly will make a difference! thanks and hope you have a great week too.
Mahalo! Thanks for tip tap typing over to my blog earlier today! I wanted to come visit. Congrats on being close to your first blogiversary! Today was probably the worst I’ve eaten in months. I’d like to tell you how guilty I feel, but I’m too doped up on carbs to care. ;)
hey, had you on my reader for a while but am always 3,792 posts behind. Glad I could finally come and visit you too. Thanks for dropping by. Must be kind of difficult in a carb coma, no?
I’m super happy to hear your boss was so receptive to you working from home one or two days a week. I think that’s awesome and should definitely lift your stress levels!
Good luck!
Thanks! I will definitely keep you guys posted!
thanks! hopefully he’ll have time this week to discuss it with me, because I’m really about to have a mental breakdown from all this!!
Is moving closer to work an option at all? If not, working from home does sound like a good idea. Commuting must be eating up so much of your time.
due to past lives (meaning both of us have exes and financial disasters to go along with them) we are kind of limited at the moment. We tried to sell our apartment but it was on the market for 18 months and I think only 3 people came to see it. We would love to live closer, at least maybe around the middle of the country. I gave my proposal to my boss, but he hasn’t had any time to look at it or talk to me about it. Commuting and now working too many hours is definitely eating up my time and honestly making me feel pretty depressed.
Hi there
I am just a random visitor who was directed to your blog because you have been talking about propoints. However, have had a bit of a read of your blog and although I haven’t seen the whole story, I have picked up that you are obviously struggling to lose weight, that you suffer from afternoon cravings and you are finding it difficult to stay in control.
I don’t mean to stick my nose into your business, but I have the same problem and I think I have managed to over come mine (a bit anyway). My nemesis is WHEAT. The more I eat the more I want. Having excluded it for a few weeks (difficult at first but easier once you get into it), I no longer have those afternoon cravings/slumps and I find because I don’t eat it, it excludes masses of things that I am tempted to eat. I do still eat carbs, oats, rice, potatoes etc. As I feel more in control, my weight is coming off – not very quickly but enough to keep on doing it and I do feel so much better! I am also doing WW points too, so I think its maybe the combination of both.
Anyway, as I said, may not be your thing, but thought it might be useful to pass on the information.
Good luck with it. Hope everything works out with your working from home . . ..
x
Hey Debbie :) Thanks very much for coming around and don’t worry about sticking your nose in! I’m definitely open to other ideas :)
So the thing is, I don’t have the hunger as much as when I was running 25-30KM a week. I honestly think it was the intense activity and perhaps not eating enough or eating the right combination of things. I have been working with Dietitian number 2 and she’s helping me work out what and when I should eat. I will mention it to her though, and ask her about wheat products. Can’t do any harm right? To be honest though I don’t eat a LOT of wheat/bread as it is, so I am not totally sure it will make a difference. What I really think is the culprit is too much dinner and maybe the wine… So I am working on portion sizes as well.
Thanks for the input, I’ll be sure to update when I see her again in 2 weeks!
p.s.
now if I could only give up wine in the same way . . .. . . LOL