Fit Five Friday – May Runfessions

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It’s that time of week again! Hopefully you’ve been enjoying this new link up with your FIVE amazing hosts – me, My First 5K and MoreRunning With Attitude, Runs with PugsZenaida ! Feel free to join in on the fun!

This week we have the bonus link up,  Marcia’s Runfessional!

join the monthly runfessional!

Every month Marcia opens the runfessional – a place to let it all out and cleanse your soles; if you are needing to release some sweaty secrets or just want to get things off your chest, here’s the place to do it! 

This week I have only TWO Runfessions I need to get off my chest…

Running is half “meh” and half fun

To be honest, my knee is still not 100% and I guess maybe all the walking hasn’t really helped… but I runfess that I’m too stubborn to let go of the Illinois Marathon Criss-Cross Virtual Challenge. I’m so close to finishing and by dog I’m going to earn the swag and medal I’ve already received.

Making sure I’m walking, running two times a week, and cross-training, PLUS working, I am not really enjoying the mid-week run as much as I would like. Maybe it’s something to do with the weather, which has been kind of poop (as you know). But also, the whole knee thing. I’m just over it. I also have no races in my future and it seems a little bit like parkrun won’t even be starting until maybe August.

I suppose we all go through “meh” running periods?

But maybe the biggest reason?

To be totally honest and transparent, I runfess that in just one week I will have abdominoplasty.

While I realise I owe it to no one but myself to justify my decision I want to be clear with everyone that:

  1. This is not an easy decision to make
  2. This is not the easy way out
  3. There should not be any shame in taking a different road than the one you’ve travelled for so long

There is unfortunately still so much negativity about plastic surgery but what my research has led me to is that this can be a positive life-changing thing. For me, that’s what this is all about.

I’m not a mom, which means my body was not “ruined” by having children. (which, sidenote: I also can’t stand the negative messaging about something that is supposed to be a miraculous and wonderful thing), however, I can tell you that this has been an issue for me for a long time. My weight started to become an issue when I was about 19 (and I actually thought it was a problem earlier than that, but that’s another post) and I was never really this fit until I started this journey “for the last time” in 2009. This a combination of non-existent fitness as a kid, scoliosis, bad posture, never working on my core, later weight gain, and yo-yo dieting that has created something I can not fix.

After 12 long years of doing a multitude of things for my health and wellness, I simply cannot solve my problem by myself. Not through diet or exercise. Which I have been, for all intents and purposes, been consistent with since 2009.

I have spent a fortune on gym memberships, trainers, training programs, nutritionists, coaches, coolsculpting and other gimmicky things that sometimes work. I have tried all kinds of diets, macros, no gluten, all gluten, all protein, paleo, no night shades, weight watchers; I could go on! I cannot solve this problem by myself. Y’all know how active I am. OK maybe I’m not running as much as I was but this is not “giving up” after just a few tries.

I’m ready to take a different path. And that path is surgery.

The Good News?

You don’t have to agree with it! But I sure hope you’ll respect my decision. It’s been a couple of years of research and educating myself on what was possible. These days a tummy tuck is not only for atheistic purposes, and that is definitely the lowest reason on my list (but I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge it is for sure a bonus)! Remember me telling you about all the times I went to Pilates and just couldn’t feel anything? My core is so weak and that has effect on my back which has effect on how I train, which basically keeps me continually going around in circles.

And I’ll tell you something else that’s a lovely TMI tidbit, fitness with a weak core and a belly that is constantly moving around with loose skin from weight loss, well, it causes incontinence. Let’s just say I am really sick of that. Fixing my core in this way, removing excess skin and a bit of fat can fix this problem. I’m super down with that.

That’s kind of enough of a Runfessional, don’t you think?

While I have no issue talking about it and putting it here in the blogosphere, I’m not putting it all over social media at the moment. After the operation I’ll be sure to update.

Questions? Ask me anything!

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34 thoughts on “Fit Five Friday – May Runfessions

  1. Good for you, Renee <3 I know this decision was not made overnight, and it definitely sounds like you put a lot of time, research and careful thought into your decision. And, bottom line, this is YOUR decision and that's what matters ;-) Many, many hugs to you, and best wishes that all goes well. Do keep us posted on how you're feeling.

  2. Hope it goes well. It’s your body and you have to do what makes you feel good. Don’t worry what others think. Life is too short for that shit.

    1. Thank you Darlene. I do appreciate it so much! and you are right. that’s why I’m just coming out with it.

  3. Oh, gosh, good luck with the surgery. I hope your recovery goes smoothly. One good thing about delayed Parkrun is that you should be on the mend by then (I hope).

    1. Thank you ! and indeed with starting parkrun I should at least be able to help run the show with the other volunteers if I can’t run it.

  4. You definitely need to do whats right for you! It sounds like you put alot of thought into this decision and it should be really beneficial for you. I hope it goes well!

    1. I really am hopeful that it will change my life. Yesterday I listened to a podcast from a lady who went from overweight to power lifter but she also had this stomach and skin she couldn’t fix. She said now she’s lifting, squatting, deadlifting, etc. better than ever! It was great to hear someone and have my thoughts and feelings validated by someone who did it for similar reasons.

  5. I think we all do go through “meh” running periods. Your less than 100% knee may have a big effect on your attitude toward running right now. It’s tough o be enthusiastic if you are hurting!

    I agree with your decision completely. If you can do something to make you feel good about yourself, you should do it. Period. (As long as you are not hurting another person). Good luck with the surgery. I hope you heal fast and can run a fall race.

    1. I do feel like I don’t want to do any further damage to my knee too and that kind of sticks in the back of my mind. And thank you! We’ll see what happens, but I’ll be following doctors orders and listening to my body. Big investment!

  6. Good for you! This is a procedure that is going to make your quality of life better and that’s really all that matters. I would hope that people would be supportive but if they aren’t then just ignore them – that’s the best advice I can give.

    Good luck and I hope that everything goes well!

    1. Thanks Michelle! I really appreciate it. I do try to live by not caring what others think, but it is hard sometimes when you do something outside of the box. I had an especially hard time working up the courage to tell my parents! I’m 52! a grown woman! (they are supportive by the way!)

  7. My sister had an incidental abdominoplasty when they used her belly fat for her post-mastectomy breast reconstruction. She loves her new flat abdomen. No judgement. I want to get my eyes done–I have droopy eyelids. We all have our thing. Good luck !

    1. My friend Marga had this done as well after her mastectomy! She was so happy with the results. We do all have our thing, and some things are “easier” to accept than others. I also think about my poor old droopy face sometimes… Thanks, Wendy!

  8. I won’t lie and say that the thought of a tummy tuck has never crossed my mind. I have gained & lost 40 lbs several times in my life, and that has left me with a fair amount of loose skin everywhere. My WW leader did it after she lost over 100 lbs.

    I hope that you have an easy recovery and find some peace, Renee. Some of us just struggle more, and in some ways that’s a good thing (even if it doesn’t feel like it), and there are many people that will just never understand that.

    Good luck!

    1. Yes some of us definitely struggle more and I appreciate that you get it. For me it’s also way more than the loose skin and fat pouch. It’s about being comfortable and moving forward in my fitness. This problem makes me uncomfortable and not confident. I want more out of the 2nd part of my life than constantly battling something I can’t fix. There’s acceptance and peace and then there’s a bit of action thrown in to get that acceptance and peace. That’s where I want to be. I feel like I’m finally in a good place mentally as well to handle this.

  9. I am so so excited for you! That’s a huge step, but it’s going to be great! You have a huge squad cheering in your corner! Xo

    1. Thank you Jenn! It’s exciting and scary. I know it will be a while before I’m fully recovered but I am in it for the long haul!!

  10. I’m so proud of your decision, but I know you’re not surprised by that because of the number of chats we’ve had about weight loss twitter. I’m so happy that you’ve found something that will hopefully be a huge help for you. I think a huge chunk of the issues around the judgement around plastic surgery is the names’ connotations. You’re not doing it to look like a plastic barbie doll, but also it shouldn’t matter if you were since it’s a decision you’re making for your self. A friend went through this when she had a rhinoplasty for severe apnea/breathing issues. Yes, it’s a “nose job” but it’s not because it was too long, etc. Hugs through the recovery

  11. Oh you poor love, that sounds like such a hard journey to this point. 100% behind you and wish you all the luck in the world for your surgery and a happier life after. Let us know how you get on.

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