Apparently Complaining is Good For You

I didn’t get the memo otherwise…

This whole past week has been on long bitch session. Every single day fighting with my body and it’s hunger. Thinking about how long it’s been since I actually lost any significant amount of weight. Today I even did my measurements and there is no change. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I really have no idea. Maybe I’m measuring totally wrong. I don’t know. I specifically went out yesterday to by a new measuring tape (since I can’t find my old one) and then no change. I don’t get it. I’ve run. I’ve biked. I’ve walked. I’ve gone to the gym. My clothes are fitting fine. I bought new boots yesterday (and it’s been years since I could get a pair of boots over my calves. All of these things are GOOD THINGS. That I am not complaining about. That I am PROUD of.

However, I have EVERY RIGHT to be pissed that my numbers haven’t changed. I KNOW that it’s not the be all and end all. I think I rock and am totally awesome 90% of the time. The other 10% is important too. I AM STILL IN AN OVERWEIGHT BMI CATEGORY PEOPLE!! That means where I’m at now, with my weight, and fat percentage is not completely healthy. I am about getting healthy here and with a BMI of 29, I am officially NOT healthy.

After tracking all week – with the exception of the 3 glasses of wine I had on Friday night – I discovered that I was over ProPoints by an ENTIRE DAYS WORTH of points. That’s not normal. Or at least it doesn’t look normal. The only thing that was outside my normal, healthy way of eating last week was the BBQ I went to. I just guessed at the points and maybe I overestimated. Better to think “over” than under, right?

I have to say, from all my complaining, I got so many great suggestions via Twitter and also email. I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate that! And as I complained that I am not losing weight, I did get on the scale on Saturday (my new weigh in day) and I lost 900 grams (2 lbs). You see? I lost 900 grams from all the bitching and moaning I did this week! Hubs set up our scale so I could look at a few other numbers as well.

I don’t fully understand it, but my scale measures body fat, moisture, Resting Metabolic Rate, Basal Metabolic Rate, Muscle Mass Percentage and bone weight. I’ve amateurishly pasted together two photos for your viewing pleasure (hey, I DID say amateurishly):

To break it down:
weight: 79.5KG
Moisture: 48.6% (“good” is 40-60% “excellent” is over 60%)
Fat: 33.5%
Muscle:31.2%
RMR: 1517 calories needed if I just laid in my bed all day
BMR: 2478 calories needed based on my activity level to maintain my current weight
Bone mass in KG: 8.7 (don’t really understand this, since when Hubs did his, it said 120KG???)

So, this explains why I am often hungry. My body requires a lot of calories to maintain my current weight. And just to be clear:

YES it’s real hunger.
NO I’m not thirsty, but I do still drink about 3 litres of water per day
YES I eat a protein rich diet
YES I load up on veggies and I eat the recommended amount of fruit servings a day

I think it’s also important to note that I do not have cravings. Not for anything at all. Not for sweets, not for chocolate, not for cakes, not even for burritos or pizza. When I want junk it’s for purely emotional reasons. I am totally aware of this. I don’t make excuses either, but I don’t need to, because I rarely do it. At the BBQ for example, I wanted the things that I eaten for the “emotional” reason of not having had those things in so long, but I STILL ate those things in moderation. So. Yeah. Again, maybe I overestimated the ProPoints on those items, but it’s hard to tell. Usually I don’t even eat cookies, for example, so I don’t even know how many points they actually have.

I mentioned it before, but in case you are just joining me, I think part of the reason I’m hungry is also because I am up and awake for many, many hours a day. My stomach schedule goes something like this:

5am – out of the bed after 2 snoozes, usually hungry
drink water and prepare lunch and snacks, shower, start getting ready for work

6am – eat breakfast. I used to eat things like eggs/egg whites with veggies, then the dietitian I saw at the gym told me I shouldn’t do that, that I should eat Swedish Crackers (knackebrood) instead. So I started eating that with light cream cheese and cucumber or with a slice of chicken on top. This week I got several suggestions for oatmeal with peanut butter and banana and that I would be “filled up for hours” and while I find it extremely tasty there is no real change in hunger.

8am – not quite at work yet. Start to feel a bit hungry on the train. Drink water.

9am – arrive in the office, have a milky coffee drink. Hungry.

10.30am – really feeling hungry now, take a break and go get a very large herbal tea.

11am – ravenous. Have a piece of fruit.

11.15am – Oh my god, is it lunch yet???

12.00 noon – about to fall over or kill someone who is in my way to the lunch room. Eat one or two sandwiches depending on what else I have to eat (a salad maybe), usually load with twice the amount of veggies as the bread weighs. Feeling much better now.

somewhere between 2 – 3pm – starting to get that feeling in my tummy again. Drink water or have another tea.

4pm – yep it’s that time again… fruit with cottage cheese will help.

5pm – leave the office. And I’m hungry again.

5.30pm – on the train. If it’s not too busy and I get the chance I’ll eat my Fage 0% Yoghurt, fruit (blueberries, strawberries and a mandarin) and almonds. If it’s really busy and I don’t have a seat to myself for a while, I’ll wait and maybe eat just a mandarin, drink water (though I hate to do this at this stage in the day, because I drink so much I’m in the loo every 45 minutes. My commute is two hours. That means I’m bursting anyway by the time I get home), or chew some gum.

7pm – home. and…Hungry!!!

8pm – dinner. Usually something with rice, meat (chicken, turkey) or fish, and a vegetable. Sometimes couscous instead of rice. Hubs cooks and has Weight Watcherized his recipes.

If we run, we have a snack (was a peanut butter sandwich, but I’ve gotten some new great suggestions now), we run, we eat later, like 9 or 9.30pm even.

10.30pm bedtime. If I’ve eaten at 9.30 I will wait until 11pm.

So, if you’ve gotten through all that, I thank you :) You can see for yourself I’m getting around 6 hours of sleep each night.

OK. How about something different now?

I had a goal this month to run 85KM. I have definitely achieved this goal with my run today. I had a “meh” run on Friday – I was just tired and my legs weren’t having it – and I really wanted to go out and do 16KM so my brain could register that I CAN DO THIS. Our 16KM run that we are participating in is in just 3 weeks. Between now and then there isn’t tons of training time, so I wanted to be sure that I could do it under two hours. For the challenge I’m participating in on Nike+, I was 4th place on Friday; I’ve now moved up to 2nd place.

I think I’m fairly awesome. I wanted to quit this week. Like seriously give Weight Watchers the old Fuh Q but I decided against it. I didn’t even want to try my run on Friday and I got out there and did it anyway. I tried many of the suggestions that people gave me. I decided actually that I’m not going to quit. I may not track points for a while but I’m not going to give up on myself. Weight Watchers still teaches me about moderation and portion size and I need that. For the fabulous Drop Dead Gorgeous by December challenge I took the following photo:

I WILL never give up!!!!