A Confession out of Sheer Desperation

24 May, 2011 Off By Renée

Well, it’s confession time folks.

Remember when I quit Weight Watchers because I’d had enough? Enough of trying to make ProPoints work for me. Enough of feeling like a failure. Enough of feeling miserable because I was hungry. I could do this on my own. I knew what to do. More than 10 years of Weight Watchers you would think I would know what to do!

So, when was that? I don’t know. February? I was around the 80-81KG mark then. Still maintaining just like the 15 months before. Then I went on holiday to the US. I expected to gain weight (I’m not saying “go to the US you’ll gain weight” it’s more, I was going home and I planned on having some food I don’t normally have here in the Netherlands and I knew there would be quite a few dinners out and, well, I wasn’t going to worry too much about it) and I did, 2.5KG. But since this gain I haven’t been able to go back down. Anyone remember that I was complaining that I didn’t want to weigh 80KG? Well. I’d love to weigh 80KG now. Hmmmmph.

I’ve been seeing 83, 84, and I don’t like it. I was still weighing and measuring my food, just clearly having too much. And, let’s face it, there were several ice creams involved in my life in the last few months. And back at the candy jar at work. And other things I really didn’t need.

So, with my tail between my proverbial legs, I joined Weight Watchers online again. Like a fool. Because you know what? I am sort of desperate. I haven’t used it much though. Again, foolish. Money wasted. After the first few days I was already frustrated again. I’m having such a hard time with ProPoints – it makes no sense to me at all! Like a Bad Ex there is just too much damage to our relationship. I have to stop this. I have to quit again.

Recently I saw a few local twitter friends had joined My Fitness Pal. They mentioned how great it was that there were Dutch foods in the database. One of the reasons I don’t log my food on Sparkpeople for example is because for me it’s cumbersome, time consuming. I have to enter almost everything into the database and personally I’d rather take the time to get myself to the gym than sit in front of the computer logging items if you know what I mean (as it is, I’m usually writing my blog posts in the train, because I can’t do much else). So, I went over to MFP and I joined.

I’ve now logged a week’s worth of food, drink and exercise. I can clearly see areas where I need to improve. Yesterday I planned out my dinner and I could see that I would be over for the day, so I changed up my snacks and the quantities I would have at dinner and made it work.

One could argue that I could do the same on Weight Watchers. Again, I’m thinking there’s a reason why we broke up in the first place. Sure the sex may have been great but for the long term, not the one for me.

So that’s my confession. I’m an idiot. I joined Weight Watchers again and I’m going to quit again. The last time. If you want to find me on MFP I’m here. This first week, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve gained 700g. Now I know exactly what to work on. Next week will be different.