A Confession out of Sheer Desperation

Well, it’s confession time folks.

Remember when I quit Weight Watchers because I’d had enough? Enough of trying to make ProPoints work for me. Enough of feeling like a failure. Enough of feeling miserable because I was hungry. I could do this on my own. I knew what to do. More than 10 years of Weight Watchers you would think I would know what to do!

So, when was that? I don’t know. February? I was around the 80-81KG mark then. Still maintaining just like the 15 months before. Then I went on holiday to the US. I expected to gain weight (I’m not saying “go to the US you’ll gain weight” it’s more, I was going home and I planned on having some food I don’t normally have here in the Netherlands and I knew there would be quite a few dinners out and, well, I wasn’t going to worry too much about it) and I did, 2.5KG. But since this gain I haven’t been able to go back down. Anyone remember that I was complaining that I didn’t want to weigh 80KG? Well. I’d love to weigh 80KG now. Hmmmmph.

I’ve been seeing 83, 84, and I don’t like it. I was still weighing and measuring my food, just clearly having too much. And, let’s face it, there were several ice creams involved in my life in the last few months. And back at the candy jar at work. And other things I really didn’t need.

So, with my tail between my proverbial legs, I joined Weight Watchers online again. Like a fool. Because you know what? I am sort of desperate. I haven’t used it much though. Again, foolish. Money wasted. After the first few days I was already frustrated again. I’m having such a hard time with ProPoints – it makes no sense to me at all! Like a Bad Ex there is just too much damage to our relationship. I have to stop this. I have to quit again.

Recently I saw a few local twitter friends had joined My Fitness Pal. They mentioned how great it was that there were Dutch foods in the database. One of the reasons I don’t log my food on Sparkpeople for example is because for me it’s cumbersome, time consuming. I have to enter almost everything into the database and personally I’d rather take the time to get myself to the gym than sit in front of the computer logging items if you know what I mean (as it is, I’m usually writing my blog posts in the train, because I can’t do much else). So, I went over to MFP and I joined.

I’ve now logged a week’s worth of food, drink and exercise. I can clearly see areas where I need to improve. Yesterday I planned out my dinner and I could see that I would be over for the day, so I changed up my snacks and the quantities I would have at dinner and made it work.

One could argue that I could do the same on Weight Watchers. Again, I’m thinking there’s a reason why we broke up in the first place. Sure the sex may have been great but for the long term, not the one for me.

So that’s my confession. I’m an idiot. I joined Weight Watchers again and I’m going to quit again. The last time. If you want to find me on MFP I’m here. This first week, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve gained 700g. Now I know exactly what to work on. Next week will be different.

8 thoughts on “A Confession out of Sheer Desperation

  1. Hey Renée, thanks for the tip. I said I never would count calories again but as I’ve started last Monday with watching my food intake I was debating to count again. But I wanted something that I could use on my Blackberry too. Then you mentioned this and I took a look and signed up.

    I love the concept of Sparkpeople but as you said they don’t have many Dutch products. I was surprised Fitness pal did and I’m going to give it a try.

    Good luck!

    1. oh that’s great Fran! I think I’m actually on Day 8 with logging my food and exercise now! I haven’t managed that on WW for a long time, I think because mentally seeing the numbers constantly over the limit was just so frustrating. Now I see them in a much broader sense and I can work with planning and managing to see that I stay within the limits. I love too that the exercise cals are immediately offset on the daily intake. So far I’m really pleased and I honestly HATE counting calories! I need help though, so I really am going to give this a go.

      come and find me and add me if you like :)

  2. I’m the say way with Weight Watchers. It’s either ‘hit or miss’ with me and WW. I thought that because I got the iPhone and downloaded the WW app that it would make tracking my stuff easier but it really hasn’t. But, I do know that when I’m not tracking what’s going in my mouth that’s when I get into trouble…so I need to learn to just make myself do it instead of wasting the money I pay every month and not utilizing the WW online stuff.

    Hope you had a great vacation :-)

    1. I need to stop thinking that only Weight Watchers can help me. Because the fact of the matter is I’m not their typical subscriber. Their program doesn’t work for athletes. Meaning, I may not be the best athlete in the world, but I am an athlete!! with WW I either starve (not good for the body) or I overeat (not good for weight loss). So yeah. Really need to let go now.

      Thanks I did :)

  3. Thanks for sharing Renee. I’m going to give it a go. I swore I was going to stop counting calories at some point but I’m honestly not AWARE of what I’m eating if I’m not logging them. It takes me all of 2 days before I’m suddenly adding an extra 500 calories here and there and “forgetting” about them. Lately I’ve come to think of the calorie tracking as the structure that I need. As a free spirit, I always kicked hard against structure until I learned that within structure, there IS freedom. So that’s the way I’m approaching it now. I punch a few keys and maintain that structure of good nutrition, and with that out of the way, I FEEL I have more freedom to not think about food. Maybe that doesn’t make any sense at all. Maybe the truth is that I’m a big fat liar, so I need to track the calories to keep me honest. I choose to think that I simply need the structure so I don’t find myself worrying about what I’m eating or how I’m living my life nutritionally. So I’m going to check into it and see if I like it better than “Loseit!” Thanks again :)

    1. it makes perfect sense to me. i think even people who are maintaining their weight loss still need the structure of some sort of accountability. Otherwise it is very possible they would gain the weight back. If you talk to weight maintainers (as I used to over on 3fatchicks) you will find they are still going strong after YEARS of whatever plan they were following that got them to their goal weight. When I maintained now several years ago, I still went to Weight Watchers every week, I still filled out my journal, I still had my daily contact with my friends who’d helped me along the way. As free spirit as you are, there’s no real harm or harsh boundaries in keeping yourself in check :) Glad you joined as well!

  4. I love this post and your relationship with WW as an old ex-boyfriend :)

    I have to agree with the comment above from Tishia – the WW iPhone app is really cumbersome and I do find tracking with it a pain. The whole point for me to download it is so it would be easier for me to track when I was on business trips to Paris and it’s just NOT EASY TO USE. That said – I’m not sure I could properly count calories while abroad and eating out anyway so I just try to be sensible and track very loosely. In fact I’m probably more careful when I’m away now because I know there are a lot of “hidden” calories and fats in foods when you go out. There is also the whole “full fat” thing in Paris – they rarely offer skim milk (for example) as an option, even in hotels. I have to say that my discovery of the Starbucks near Place de Clichy recently was a god-send as at least once I learnt that skim milk was lait ecreme I was able to order a skim milk cap there with breakfast. Only problem with that Starbucks is that it’s a bit expensive.

    Sorry.. went off on a tangent there! Do you happen to know if MFP also has a more comprehensive list of foods in the UK? Thought maybe someone might have mentioned it to you in other conversations.

    Good luck with it – I hope it turns out to be a success for you!

    1. having to travel for work and being surrounded by stuff you just are not super familiar with is such a challenge! I think eating anything you haven’t prepared yourself is always going to be a guess. I do not envy you at all (though I probably will go to the Paris office this month if not early next).

      There are a LOT of UK people at MFP, I have noticed a lot of foods in the database that are UK-centric.

      Thanks :)

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